Love the way you Lie
by Eclarebear13
Summary: I'm so damaged. I've been involved in so many things. Drugs, alcohol, sex, violence...but no love. That's all I ever wanted. Love./Charaters are very OOC/ (Rated M for a reason)
1. Right Off the Bat

A/N: Okay. Well...this is an idea I had. It just randomly popped up in my head. I didn't review this story so I'm sure that there will be TONS of mistakes. Just tell me in the reviews if you're awesome enough to write one :D Just don't flame me okay? I just started so I know I suck.

IMPORTANT: So umm..this story WILL be graphic. For those of you who can not handle domestic violence, rape, sex, drug/alcohol abuse, selfharm, eating disorders and all that sad stuff, this story is NOT for you. And if you flame me about it, I won't really give a tootin' because I have already warned you ._.

But other than that...umm..enjoy?

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Charter One.

Right Off the Bat.

"YOU STUPID BITCH!" Fitz screamed as he slapped me in the face once again. I could feel my face burn and swell from the blow and made my vision fuzzy.

**...**

Fitz was usually like this. He gets drunk and then his rage enfurates him. It's almost like the alcohol lights the fuse in his brain to trigger his anger towards me. It's been like this for 2 years.

Ever since I met Fitz at Degrassi when I was 15, my life has honestly been a downward spiral. When we met, I knew he drank and smoked. But I was a rebal. With Darcy gone and my parents fighting so much and my dad...family wasn't a concern for me. I was trying to find love. True love. And I thought that I'd find that with Fitz. He seemed so sweet and calm and gentel.

He wasn't.

Fitz was a monster.

As soon as he saw that I was head over heels for him, (It was pretty obvious) he took advantage. At first it started with just a little screaming at the slightest thing I did "wrong". Like even talking to a boy. Or even one of my best friends, Adam, who is FTM (female to male). Adam technically not even a boy, but Fitz still gets jealous.

After the yelling stage, he started becoming obsessive and touchy. And by touchy, I mean in violent and sexual ways.

When I'd have to go over to Fitz's house to get away from my parents, he'd usually be drunk or smoking the evil, white crystal that destroyed everything in it's path; methamphetamine.

When the drug and Fitz combined, it was a perverted, sick and deadly combination.

I'd be with him, in his dirt poor room.

Alone.

Defenceless aginst his wrath.

Fitz didn't live alone. He lived with his dad who was a man-whore, alcoholic himself. Most of the time he was out at clubs, hotels, other women's houses, or even jail for his dangerous drinking and driving habit. So basically, when I was alone with Fitz, I was truly alone.

It's terrible being with Fitz. The first time I went there, I remember I wore my favorite green floral, knee-high skirt, with a teal tank top, my blue jean jacket and of course my cute, silver flats.

Bad move.

He immeditly took full advatage of the situation.

Fitz was drinking AND smoking that night. It was the worst I've ever seen him so far into the relationship.

He grabbed me, pushed me onto his bed, and..

You can guess the rest.

Let's just say that after that, I rushed to the bathroom to find blood dripping down my thigh with brusis all over my body.

I ran home after I snuck out from the bathroom window (which Fitz now keeps locked to make sure I don't run away again) and ran to my room. I remeber locking the door and sobbing as I assisted the damage that he had done to my body that night. I also remember tyring to keep quiet so my parents didnt hear me.

After I cleaned myself up and changed, I got a text from Fitz.

**Babe..I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to. I love you and you know that. Please forgive me?-Fitz**

And I did...

...

"I'm...sorr-" I could barely get the words out before he punched me in the gut. I was still dazzed but I could recognize the taste of blood leaking from my mouth.

"STOP FUCKING PLAYING AROUND CLARE! GOD, YOPU'RE SUCH A UGLY FUCKING WHORE!" He spat at me. I almost chocked on the strong smell of the meth and alcohol.

'Fitz...please.." I was gasping. I tried to grab something to lean onto because I was feeling dizzy. And with little black dots blurring my vision, I could tell I was about to blackout.

I looked up at Fitz, hoping that the look of hurt in my (probably balckened) eyes would get to him and that he would stop. But the last thing I saw was him delivering that one last blow.

And then all I saw was darkness.

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Reviews?


	2. Beauty and the Inner Beast

A/N: Okay...so umm I think this is really bad. I think it's pretty wordy but I'll try to get better. Once again, I didn't edit it really so THERE WILL BE MISTAKES! Don't be a butt about it, I just started doing this kind of thing so calm you're tits/balls and don't freak out about it. and NO FLAMES PLEASE!

IMPORTANT: Give me advice in reviews if you're cool enough to write one. [NO FLAMES]

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Chapter 2

Beauty and the Inner Beast

"Ohh..fuck's sake.."

I groaned as I heard Fitz's loud snoring with the faint sound of the radio telling us that it's 6:15 AM on a monday. A crisp, fresh monday that involves school.

Yay.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes that felt wrinkled and sore. Then I went down through my entire body. Wondering and hoping that I'd packed enough makeup in my bag to cover it all. It wasnt too bad; just my face needed some touching up. I picked myself up slowly, careful not to make Fitz too aware of my movments. Even though I knew that he was done from his high amount of rage, he still tends to have a temper. I stood up, also feeling a bit woozy and sick. Even if I haven't eaten since last night, I get this weird feeling that I have to puke even when there is nothing in my stomach. So i usually end up dry heaving. I slowly walk to the bathroom and grab my bag on the way , preparing myself for what I'd have to cover up so there won't be any more questions at school.

One time, earlier on in our relationship, he hit me.

And it showed.

I didn't even think of covering it up. So when I went to school the next morning, Adam asked me LOADS of questions. It was easy to see that he was concered. He was so sweet about it. Except when he just happen to let it slip when Mr. Simson was near. I remember that I was called into his office during science. I knew what was going to happen. But I panicked so much that I barely thought up an excuse. So I just said that I was being clumbsy and fell down the stairs. Mr. Simson doubted me but let it slide. I'm not sure why I lied. I mean, Fitz was ABUSING me. I'm not blind. I do see it. But for some reason, I did nothing about it. Maybe because I'm just used to it.

The sound of Fitz low growling brought be back to realality. When I looked in the mirror, I saw someone who was messed up. Someone who looked dammaged. Someone who lacked love and respect. It kind of shocked me that the person that was looking back at me..was me.

"Oh for christ's sakes Clare.." I heard Fitz stadding up, or at least trying to, staggering towards me. I knew he was hungover from his high last night but I still felt my heart beat in fear when Fitz walked up behind me, holding his head in pain. He groaned and whimpered. I almost felt bad for him. And from the look on his face when he looked up, I could tell he was sorry as well.

"Babe.."

He put his arm around my shoulders and I flinched. Him touching me after hitting me recently was just something that I couldn't get used to.

"Babe, I'm sorry..will you-"

"Forgive me. Yeah..sure" I mumbled as I carefully applied the makeup on my brused eye. He always said this line after he saw the damage that he knew he had done to me. It's a shame I know all of his pathedic excuses by heart. He gave me a fake, sorrowful look that I knew just as well as his "I'm sorry babe.." lines, and walked out of the bathroom to change for school.

...

"Fuck's sake.." I groan as I sit in Fitz's shitty car that bumbs all the time, making my body hurt more than it did when I woke up. We are almost to school but I pull out my cell and check for messages.

**NO MESSAGES**

Awesome.

"Who texted you?" Fitz said with a hint of anger in his voice.

"No one." I said as I showed him my phone, proving it to him that no one texted/called me because I know very well that if I didn't, I'd get a pre-school beat down fro "lying".

He pulls up in front of Degrassi and we get out, he kisses my cheek so that people can see. This is how he hides the fact that he hits me. So no one will suspect it, even if I cover it up well with my makeup skills. We walk into the school, holding hands and smiling like the most perfect couple in the world.

It's amazing what a smile can hide.

"I have to go to Spanish, I'll see at lunch okay baby?" Fitz says with the old smirk that I fell in love with.

"Sure." I smile, nod, and wave him off as I head off to my locker. I grab my stuf and head off to Math.

...

Lunch came by quickly sadly. I sat with Fitz along with his friend Drew who my friend Alli gushes over. So as she flirts away with Drew, me and Fitz sit and eat our lunches.

"Aren't you going to eat more? You must be hungry." I shake my head and stare at my apple. I'm not hungry.

Alli goes to the bathroom and Drew starts telling us (well mostly Fitz) about how he wants to ask her out. Then they chat about cars, Megan Fox and other bullshit guys talk about. I just fiddle with my apple.

"Umm Clare...?'

"Yes Drew?" I asked looking up at him.

" Why aren't you eating? What are you anorexic? Haha! I hope not, those kind of girls just want attention. Just like those damn cutter and bulimic freaks. I mean, who the hell vomits and cut themselves on purpose? Fucking retards I bet. Ha!"

I try not to hold in my boiling anger, and even if I can fell my ears getting hot, no one else seems to notice.

And no one notices when I head off out the door, out of the lunch room.

Except FItz.

"What the FUCK was that all about?" He yelled-whispered out to me in the hallway. I try to walk faster, to get away from him. I didn't feel like dealing with his bullshit today. But of course, I have to anyway. Fitz grabs my bicep tightly with his strong hand and pulls me into a vacant room.

"What the fuck Fitz!" I scream but it's folllowed with him covering my mouth with his hand, pulling me close and spitting nasty words in my face.

"Don't be a fucking idiot Clare. You KNOW I can fuck you up. And it will be bad. I fucking swear to the heavens that I will killyou. Stop fucking embarassing me with you're damn emotional bullshit. Hold you're self together or so help you God, I will beat you down so hard. You understand me?"

I nod, face wet and hot with tears. I feel so embarrassed and violated. Like the fucking whore that he calls me all the time.

"Good." He lets go roughly and storms out of the room. I just sit in a corner of the room and cry. I have no idea how I ended up like this. I used to be such a good little girl. So pretty and smart. But then I met this...beast.

He ruined me.

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Yup...sucky. Reviews?


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